House Of Focker - About Us

If I said I done made this all on my own, you all would know I wuz tellin' a lie. Cuz everyone knows little birdies can't sew. Havin short legs an' only eight toes, walkin an' runnin makes me fall on my noggin. Mommy I need you, please hurry come quick, an' while yer a runnin grab yer sewin' machine. She gots long legs an' ten toes to boot, walkin an' runnin ain't no sweat off her back. Aside from all that, the old crow can sew !

With list under wing, I told mommy to sit, this little Focker had lots to explain. Bright rainbow colours wuz at the top of my list, an' no two the same cuz that just wouldn't be fun. Big enough to play in, I's got many a toy, an' of course tons o' room for my rollin' around. Nice an' tall for when I stand on my head, no squishin an' bendin of tail feathers for me. An' for those times when I need to unwind, comfy an' cozy wuz a definite must.

With all my demands I put mommy to work, an' the old gal done sewed with the greatest of care. I watched an' I waited for what seemed like years, an' every now an' then I gots in her way. When she was finished an' held that tent up, this little Focker plum busted a gut ! I screeched an' I squawked, an' I jumped in that tent, the old bird she it did, I gots my own tent. Cuz mommy knows me an' she does know me best, she yanked on my tail an' yelled really loud "THIS TENT NEEDS TESTIN' SO YOU BEST SLOW DOWN".

Without too much thought I flew for the phone, if this tent needs testin' I knows who to call. BIG BROTHER Darwin, better known as "MOOSE" surely could test my new little tent. Our egg layin' mama never kept it a secret, that brother o' mine was ONE BIG EGG. His lump of an egg would rock n' roll, slippin' an' slidin' from under her butt. On the day Darwin hatched the earth damn near shook, there wuz a whole lotta screechin', an' feathers went flyin'. Our dear sweet mama shot off that egg, an' soared like a missile way up in the air . An' I done hid in my itty bitty egg !

Darwin arrived with his mommy in tow, an' the three of watched as he got down to work. He tested an' tested til his eyes done crossed, he hung and he swung, an' he picked an' he poked. My brother the MOOSE is one crazy bird ! Holdin' our breath, we waited an' waited, while Darwin's dear mommy fretted he'd fall on his head. Eventually the fool did fall on his head, an' of course mommy dearest done fell on hers too. Swayin an' staggerin, no doubt seein double, he rose to his feet, an' spread his wings. Gaspin for breath an' rubbin his noggin, he peered over his glasses an' screeched really loud "HEY LITTLE FOCKER, WINGS UP TO YER MOM." With wing over heart an' no doubt in his mind, he solemnly swore an' downright declared my little ol' tent wuz positively "BIRD SAFE."

Now a word to the wise, its about Darwins mom. Keep yer eyes on this woman, shes plum off her rocker. If ya see her a comin, ya better start runnin. She wanders around with her head in the clouds, draggin behind her a big bag o' hats. Don't turn yer back for a second, she's a hat plunkin fool, she can't stand to see a hatless head. Aside from this oddity, an' boy it is strange, she's a talented lady with a heart o' gold. Good friend to mommy an' my dear sweet auntie, what can I say, ya just gotta love her. She's spent many an' hour helpin out, an' if the old bird stays busy it'll keep her mind off them hats !